This blog may seem depressing, talking about past pains, and battles. About the down sides to living “Behind the Zion Curtain”. But in the end there has been a happy story, and many wonderful things to report. As per my updated biography, I did find love, and a rewarding career after venturing out on my own when I was a young teen.
After leaving home, sometimes to come back to my parents house, and then off again on another adventure, from the time I was 12. I was able to immerse myself in many rewarding learning experiences and good times. I have such fond memories of the times that I traveled the country. I found situations and people that I would have never found in Utah that enriched my life and gave me great things to reflect on. In my biography I tried even to be optimistic about the pain and the hard times, trying to avoid going into depths of those painful times and painful situations. I skirted around issues, trying to focus on the positive outcomes, rather than dwelling on the darkness and struggle.
But after years of continuing to avoid the painful side of those lessons, and the painful side of the people in my life that effected those painful lessons, mostly to just try to keep the peace. I realized if it wasn’t for that pain, and those dark times, I wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate the light side and the positive blessings in life.
Without knowing the darkness, it is incredibly hard to appreciate the light. As a kid I always use to tease my dad about those sad country songs. Hank Williams Jr., Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, and all of the rest who had more sad songs than happy. I thought “how lame, and depressing is that”. Until I got older and I realized what the message was in those songs. In the sadness and loss, there is a great triumph in making it through to see and most importantly to appreciate the light.
After the years that I isolated myself. Attempting not to get too close to people. Attempting to shelter myself from pain. I got to know myself better. Instead of finding someone to help shelter me, perhaps when I was homeless and literally needed shelter, or perhaps when I was just in a dark and low place emotionally. Fighting through those times on my own merit helped me realize and appreciate my own strengths.
As noted in my biography, Chapter 9 (certainly not the last chapter, just the last one that I have written to this point)
“Now I am married and I have a wonderful family, with a new baby in the house and a wonderful wife. I have seen many of my life situations change. Many people around me change and many of the ideals of this world change. There is one thig that I am certain of in this world, is that the Lord is faithful, even when I am faithless.”
Since then I have realized so many new and amazing blessings. Since I wrote that part of my biography, we have lived in 5 more states, and many more cities. We have been sort of like gypsies and nomads, adventuring for the fun of it. We have now 4 children, each one of them have been born in a different state. I am not even 40 years old yet, and I have worked hard and paid off all of my debts. My cars, my house, my toys, and my student loans, are all paid for. Like I promised my wife when I met her “I will be retired at age 40, so that we can have some real fun”. Well that day has arrived. I use to work some times 96 hour weeks at the last company that I worked for. I would work my regular 40 hours in a week, and then pick up an on-call shift for the weekend taking calls from over 700 hospital pharmacies to give them technical support on a wide range of products.
But I got in a pretty terrible car accident while on that job, and that in itself while horrible, turned in to many blessings as well.
My kids are homeschooled, and have been their whole lives. We were blessed enough that I had a job that paid for all of our needs, and while my wife has proven she is more than capable of making a good living wage, we as a family have been fortunate for the last 10 years that she has been able to be a stay at home mom.
We have more adventures planned, and will continue to experience as many things as we can in this wonderful world.
Even in Utah “Behind the Zion Curtain”, we were able to start some great businesses, and work with some amazing clients, many of which have carried on with us as we have moved around the world. With the right prospective, I was able to find Happiness Behind the Zion Curtain.
Thanks for checking in!
P.S. While my family is so concerned about focusing on my faults in my past. We as a family are focused on our wonderful future. It gives me no joy to know that my 15 year old self resides in their heads rent free, even after all of these years. 🙁