Behind the Zion Curtain

Going back to Utah for a visit.   You know its time like this that I reflect inward.  I am not going by choice so much as I agreed to take my grandma home after she has visited with us for the last 3 months.  

So after her being here, I have been reminded by family members who wrote me and for no reason told me about their distorted version of history from when I was a child.  This was within the last stinkin month, after have not speaking to them for years.  They write and call me out of the blue, because they didn’t like the website that I made for my brother Justin:  http://justin-thompson.com

He is one of so many kids who kill themselves in Utah, so I made a site for him, so his life was not in vain.   But they have always maintained that his death was an accident.  But according to what I know, and according to the death certificate, I KNOW his death was no accident.   And he was trying to send a message.  I haven’t let that message die!

This reminds me of what I fought so hard to be independent, to move out on my own and do my own thing.  
In my opinion my family had a way of blaming others for their immediate and life long issues.   Whether they were blaming me, or blaming my grandma, or my dads other children.  It was ALWAYS someone who they were blaming.   But when they did something fantastic, they took all the credit.

So I wanted to distance myself from this at an early age, and take the credit for what I have done, and move away from the blame game that was going on when I was a child.  I knew that if I didn’t leave in time, I would be blamed for their history of negative life eevnts.   It was already going on when I was 12, when my father called me drunk from jail and said “See look what your behavior does to this family”.  As HE is sitting in jail pissed and drunk.   That would be one of many of those drunken adventures.

So by age 13 I moved out.  First with my grandma for a few years, until my family tried to force me back home by putting me in a drug rehab, when I was TOTALLY anti-drug (at the time).   And then took me home with them.  
Within a year I was moved out again, this time with my cousin and her boyfriend.

And by the time I was 19 I was homeless on the streets of Seattle and I was that way throughout the USA for about 2.5 years.

Now I am clean, no cigarettes, no alcohol, no other drugs.  I used herbal remedies like marijuana as prescribed by my doctor for my headaches.  But other than marijuana I don’t use the variety of substances that I grew up around.   I have a great family, 2 girls and one kid on the way.  I make good money, and my wife is able to be a stay at home mom, which she is amazing!   And despite going through some troubles and tribulations in life, I don’t have any complaints, and I wouldn’t do things differently.   Im very happy where I am.

Going back to Utah brings back bad memories from time to time.   But Im going to have to continue to face it.  At least for the time being.   It is good to go back and see old friends though!   Much love Utah, soon to be Behind the Zion Curtain myself for a week.

Bless up!

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Tempers get hot. Only two people know both sides of the story, everything else is just hearsay.

I have had people say shit about me that nearly made me get a polygraph test.

So as a piece of advice to anyone who cares about their friends, and who dont want their friends to take sides or feel that stress..  Here is a list of polygraph testers in Washington.   If you post it on facebook, expect that people are going to have advice and maybe questions.  As I have learned recently about responding publicly to public accusations.

http://www.polygraphplace.com/docs/c-15-s-Washington-examiners.html

I personally can’t afford this right now, and I don’t see it majorly urgent, since the accusations aren’t serious.

But if the accusations are serious, talk to your lawyer, friend, or go directly to the source and get your side of the story scientifically tested so other people can move on who may be caught in the middle.

For Christians, you’ll understand that even Jesus the all forgiver had his limits.

Mt 15:21–19:1

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+15%3A21-19%3A1&version=KJV

Thanks for putting up with my personal hell.  And I’ll tell ya something.  KARMA IS A BITCH!   Because Lord knows I deserved some of this hell.  But I think some people got a little carried away and blamed their whole sad life on me.

Anyway I was on the other side of this tonight, where I was caught in the middle of two people I care about.     I have decided I didn’t like being in that position, and I don’t want anyone else to have to be exposed to any of that negativity, I have tried to keep my whining to a minimum and Im going to buck up a little more and move on.

I have hundreds and hundreds of Youtube videos that I offer a constructive opinion and try to encourage others to work towards freedom.   Usually, I have been able to overcome talking about family issues.

These are my youtube accounts:

http://youtube.com/xcannabiscom

http://youtube.com/slu2com

http://www.youtube.com/modwatchcom

http://youtube.com/behindzioncurtain

I was always distressed about having to keep my opinions and ideas about weed quiet when i was a kid, so at age 13 I started getting tattooed.  By the time I was 15, I was tattooed from head to toe, litterally, and my family kicked me out because we were not seeing eye to eye to say the least.   It was a dream come true leaving there.  Because I could be me, the annoying, aggressive, loud, and determined person that I am.   And even though that personality isn’t very popular.  Its who I am, and I like it.   So funk off anyone who doesn’t!

And I want other people to know that they don’t have to be ashamed of their cannabis usage.  I am a productive cannabis consumer who is husband, dad of 2+one on the way, grandson,

brother,  productive jack of all trades, entrepreneur, business partner, employee of 3+ years at the same job.

I have been in the gutter, abusing substances, living under bridges and in caves, moving from state to state, almost dieing many times, to being a person who can hold their chin up.

I think I have done a lot of the things that I set out to do, and several folks wrote me and thanked me for writing my story and who could relate in only a disaffected Mormon could who grew up in the church.

But it’s time to start a new chapter in my life.  I am going to write a book, but a book of fiction or poetry.I started writing again when I started going through this shit again.  So if at nothing else, it inspired me to start writing again.  Take what is good, and leave the rest behind has the book of Timothy says.

This is a good book about how Mormon family become “suddenly strangers”, it’s bizzare.  But very common.

Suddenly Strangers by Brad and Chris Morin

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